Confidence: I’ll take 2, please!

Confidence can be tricky, especially in times of monumental changes and uncertainty. For many women, that’s midlife.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2009, called “Self-Esteem Development from Young Adulthood to Old Age: A Cohort- Sequenced Longitudinal Study,” revealed that self-esteem peaks for many people around the age of 60, increasing until that point before the decline starts.

The study revealed, according to the American Psychological Association, that women typically feel less confident than men in middle age, but income, education, and employment status all played a role in how confident participants felt. 

In the study, 3,617 adults were surveyed four times between 1986 and 2002, and participants rated their agreement with statements like “I take a positive attitude toward myself,” which suggests high self-esteem; “At times I think I am no good at all” and “All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.”

This all sounds great, and midlife may seem like a stable time on the outside. The thing is, not everyone feels that powerful sense of confidence in middle age. But there are things you can do to boost your confidence and love that person in the mirror through all that midlife has to bring.

Don’t get me wrong – dips in self-confidence are expected (especially during middle age). Whether you’re feeling confident daily or have peaks and valleys, it’s important to understand that it is entirely normal. When you have the right tools, tips, and support, it’s easier to navigate everything midlife can do to your self-esteem and sense of who you are. 

Six tips to boost your confidence

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
   When you compare yourself with others, it’s no secret that you focus on parts of your life that you’re not fully happy about. And the comparison isn’t always an accurate depiction of reality. There’s no way to know what you’re not seeing about this other woman’s life – like with social media, you only see the highlights. 

2. Know your strengths and focus on them.
   Think about what you’re good at. Those are your strengths, and they make a dramatic difference in the world, whether you can see it or not. Knowing and focusing on your strengths creates positive, happy energy, often bringing clarity. (One of the first things my clients discover are their current values and strength.)Take care of yourself by eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc. 

3. There’s a reason people talk so much about “self-care.” When you do it, you feel good. But there’s more to caring for yourself than bubble baths and massages – and it’s simpler than those. Making sure you eat foods you like and give you the nutrients you need to get the energy you need is one form of self-care. Moving your body regularly and ensuring that you get enough quality sleep for your body to repair itself are two more forms of self-care. I bet you feel better physically and mentally when you focus on those things, right?

4. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.

   Surrounding yourself with people who support you and make you feel good about yourself boosts your confidence. It may also bring inspiration and clarity to things you’re going through at home or work. You interact differently for the better in your world when you have a great support system. 

5. Start a new hobby or learn something new to help build confidence in other areas of your life.

Learning new tasks and creating new habits builds new pathways in your brain and often gives you that happy Dopamine hormone hit that makes you feel good about what you’re doing and about yourself. 

6. Avoid negative people and situations so they don't bring you down.

People who see more negativity in the world change the vibe of a room without even meaning to! Their energy can stick around even after they’re gone; sometimes, when you spend enough time with them, they get into your head. Spending less time with people with this mindset can help you feel happier and more content with your life because you’re not wasting time guarding your energy. 

A final tip: 

If you’re unsure where to start, getting a little help to boost that confidence won’t hurt. Midlife coaching can help you to find ways to deal with the things that lower your confidence and help you find ways to bring that self-esteem sky high. Try my 3-Pillar Quiz to see where you can focus your energy to increase your confidence today!